A few months I stopped posting to this blog. I kept another one going. One that felt more uplifting to me. One where I could post more freely. I was worried about my husband or his family finding this blog. I noticed some of my friends started piecing it together.

Now, I’m back. Mostly because I do not care. The other part is realizing I am living in two realities simultaneour. One where I’m building a life I love and one where I’m tearing apart another one. Recently, my sister-in-law discovered first hand what kind of man her brother is. It broke her. She told everyone in her family. Now everyone knows what kind of a person he is. It’s not longer this weird secret I feel I’m keeping. Now, I feel supported by his own family in my decision to leave.

Several days ago, on a work evening, he text me and let me know he had to “work late.” I believed him. It was a Thursday. There was no reason not to believe him. Around 8:30, I went to see his location and his phone was off. His watch was also off and was pinging at his office. I tried calling him, it went straight to voicemail. I notice his phone was switched off near a clients bar. I waited an hour and nothing changed. I called the bar owner and asked if he was there…he was not. I panicked and text his sister. I couldn’t find him. I thought something had gone seriously wrong. His sister went to look for him. I saw his laptop was showing on the block over from the client’s bar. I really thought his car or something had been stolen.

She went and checked the bar he wasn’t there. She went to the street over and found his car…in the parking lot of a strip club. I felt the life leave my body. Who the fuck did I marry? He turned off his location to go to a strip club. My sister-in-law waited for him in the parking lot…mind you both of us had to be at work at 7:30am. Here we are tracking this idiot at midnight. First his two female employees came out. The two female employees he frequently disappears with to get wasted. Then he came out. She confronted them and then drove his stupid ass home. I had never in my life felt this level of betrayal and disrespect. All while I’m at home taking care of our two small children, after my own work day, thinking he’s working late.

He keeps maintaining he “didn’t hurt anyone.” That he doesn’t deserve this level of hate from everyone in his life. That people shouldn’t be this angry at him. I’ve corrected this false narrative many times. And now…now I don’t have to think I’m the crazy one. That I’m too sensitive, because now his family knows and he cannot recreate the story. That’s validation. Frankly, when you’ve been dealing with a narcissist for so long it’s hard to piece together reality. Between that and having two small children, that’s why leaving has felt impossible.

I’m taking a couple weeks to get my bearings before I file. He thinks we’re ok despite me telling him repeatedly we certainly are not. He keeps telling me we can move on and get through this. That he just wants “normal” back. He wants people to stop holding him accountable. He wants me to “stop talking to his sister.” No, she went to bat for me when he was lying. She went and confronted him and his employees a second time on behalf of me. She and I now share the knowledge of reality. A reality he kept trying to morph for both of us for so long.

Now the jig is up…

I’m also less than 4 weeks into mourning the death of my own mom. Listen 2026…fuck you. Seriously. Here we are. And here we go…I’ll be fine. My boys will be fine. But here the fuck we go.