Tag: grief
-
Building Flowers in a Burning Room.
My kitchen table is covered in tiny plastic petals.Yellow, blush, ivory, sage.My hands are snapping together LEGO flowers while my life feels like it’s quietly imploding in the background. The world I live inside right now is loud.Emotionally unpredictable.Heavy with tension.Full of things that make my nervous system brace itself even when nothing is “happening.”…
-
Small Voices, Big Reminders
I was organizing the house for Christmas — the quiet, in-between kind of organizing where nothing is actually finished, but everything feels like it’s slowly finding its place again. Half-sorted toys sat in wild piles that became more chaotic as the boys dug through them. The boys were doing their usual parallel play, where they…
-
How Light Escapes
It was evening, standing over the stove, like she did day after day. She felt it first as a crack— a hairline fracture, then something spreading beneath the surface. Her life had grown too small, her light too big. At first she thought it was a broken heart. Then she called it grief— mourning a…
-
I deserve a life that doesn’t hurt (author’s post)
I have been using ChatGPT a lot to plan my future. Finances, finding attorneys, creating scripts for bad situations my husband puts myself or kids in. Even analyzing text messages or what he says or does to ground me in reality. It’s been insanely helpful. This morning I almost felt guilty for all this planning.…
-
A juxtaposition of who I was before and during
I found this in a variety of journals from over the years. This first writing was from 2016, when I was with my ex, the person who should have been my life person. The next is 2-3 years later, with my now husband. We were a few months into our relationship. The fact that I…
-
You Have To Make Your Own Sunshine
I have spent the last 9 years walking on eggshells, ensuring I didn’t upset my husband. Making sure he wouldn’t leave me. I remember the first time this happened. We were engaged, and I was begging him for forgiveness, even though he was the one acting irrationally. This isn’t about revenge, it’s about freedom and…
Wild & Rooted 